A saying that I’ve picked up from books and movies and TV is about when life throws you lemonade; make lemonade. It’s not a saying that I grew up hearing but it’s one that always made me smile once I did start hearing it. Right now, I’m making lemonade.
As we headed back into school last week and the Mr’s started back into their routines, we appeared to be settleing into our groove. I felt refreshed and ready to really get stuck into the dual role of home and work.
Then my manager called at home on Sunday evening.
She had been called into a meeting on Friday and it was one that had I worked those hours, I would also have been called into. She was told that her role had been disestablished – and therefore so was mine. It’s in relation to the legal aid review that came out last year. Although we were both expecting that particular boot to drop, it was a shock to have it happen now. Because of various communications , we thought it was more like to be towards the end of the year. Her role and mine are the only two immediately affected in such a direct manner. It’s a little hard to swallow.
Monday was the most surreal working day of my life: I knew what was about to be announced but was to continue to work until all staff were informed a little later in the morning. I think I pulled off keeping it together through that day. Yesterday was a little tougher as the news really sinks in…. the dream job that I have loved since starting there only in November is about to go.
Thanks to a lot of deep breathing on my part and an amazing amount of support being given to me, I’m feeling a little stronger. No doubt there will be up days and down days as I go through this particular ride. But I am finding the ability to see the positive in this news.
Three months ago I didn’t have any recent experience of being employed. Now I have and I will get a great reference to boot. I now have a lot more confidence in my abilities to actually work in this environment; whereas before I thought I probably could do it, I now know that I absolutely can do it. Before I kind of-sort of knew what direction I want to take, now I have two equally good options to work with and in doing so, increase my chances of finding something in either admin or legal exec. Before I was mounting my quest for a job on my own, now I have the support and advice from several respected people to try and help open doors. While I thought this role was just the most perfect one there was, maybe something even better is going to come up.
All of those things are the lemonade that is coming from the huge lemon that came my way. It’s going to be a little rough until I know how things are going to play out, but I know I have the support of some really wonderful people and that I am unspeakingly grateful for that. Another piece of advice given to me just after the news came out was to look after myself. I’m taking that to heart – and have given myself permission to feel sad and angry and all those things. But I’m determined to see this through and get to the other side. You’ll still see me laughing and making the usual lame jokes!
So yeah, that’s the curve ball I’m dealing with at the moment. I’ll keep you posted. Keep me in your thoughts or prayers for the moment – I might need them!
